Chet The Scribe

My name is Chet Meeks. I am a 32 year old sociologist. I started this blog so that I can write about the things that interest me. I hope you enjoy it.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

The Cancer is Dead

"Whole-body FDG PET-CT from the skullbase to the mid-thighs demonstrates no scintigraphic findings of residual or recurrent malignancy."

62 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's great news! Does that mean fewer chemo treatments than expected?
Deirdre

1:30 PM  
Blogger Michael Roberts said...

THANK GOD! I screamed at work when I read this. Break open the champagne!

3:02 PM  
Anonymous Beth Johnson said...

Chet, Craig and I are fantastically happy for you. You won't need any Christmas presents this year. Hope you'll visit Oak Park this summer. We would love to see you. Beth and Craig

5:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with Beth - no presents for Chet!

6:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so SO sick of this blog – cat and all. None of you have anything better to do… or write for christ’s sake?!?!

"Take the Wyoming out of the boy" irritates on two levels. 1. if you could get it out, through beatings, liposuction, stain stick or other wise, why would you? If no one had shortcomings, everyone would be equal 2. Just the word Wyoming and green curry shrimp so close together… I’m somehow reminded of a time I smelled something sweet in the compost bin

foot rubbing is crap. Chet always wanted you “lessers” – that’s what he always referred to you all as “lessers” – don’t ask me. Chet always wanted you lessers to rub his feet. It has nothing to do with feet or cancer. It is a boatload of crap. An imaginary friend that chet has developed “boo hoo hoo, I’m probably going to slip off my pretty couch and on into a coma unless you rub my feet, and make my tea (and you typically boil the water incorrectly), and drag the garbage out and fill this jug with gin. Boo hoo hoo, I’m feeling faint. Rub! Rub! Rub you pathetic squirrel.” (no offense squirrels – just an expression – just like all those funny things the sienfeld cast has come up with)

somehow reading that chet’s toes are long seems to imply that they are independent, free swinging…maybe even tangled in moments of, hmm…intimacy. It might lead one to believe that they are under the bell curve when it comes to coloration or scent. When I read that I had no suspicion that seven of his toes are joined at both base and tip, while the other six are more reminiscent of crunchy cheese puffs than toes.

I miss the old Chet. Yes, the evil chet. The chet who hated children even the silent ones in dapper little outfits sitting on the porch at the Ronald McDonald house. I miss chet who was painfully intolerant of the old and the poor. The chet who laughed when people fell on the ice (that’s frozen water, southerners). The old chet’s ears would bleed if someone said y’all or Bobbisue. The whole vivan cancer routine has left me devastated. Not because chet’s is strapped to a chem-lab bag every so often, no, not that at all. I don’t really give a rat’s ass about that. I hate that he is now so tolerant. He shares a blog with people who mention both social and intellectual values in the same sentence as “the south”, he is no longer embarrassed about his roots – genetic or geographic – even though the profile of the terrain says “landslide” on both counts. He says “I love you” in ways that strain anyone with a weak stomach. The only thing that I really hate about cancer is that is masks the real chet. I could deal with all the drama of it if only that depraved carcass of the real chet could peek through – without the cat mask.

Reread the first section and just say “south” whenever it says “Wyoming”

And I think metrosexual is far easier to understand if you read all brett’s ramblings, repressed feelings that leak out every seam.

And did you read that thanksgiving nonsense. Each person had a little parenthetical blip stating his usefulness – what each could have added to your love of a shared holiday. Jesus, chet. So you had a shitty thanksgiving with people who are less that perfect, get over it. You only have cancer, it’s not like you are plagued with christians and southerners – in life and blog. Get off the cross. No need to puff up you’re your co-eaters. I will clarify so you can get a better idea of what chet really wants to say and then I will end this rant, go have a good cry and pretend none of you even really exist.


Real Chet writes:
Thursday we went to Wendy's poor excuse for a cave for Thanksgiving dinner. So it was Wendy & Greg (tolerable hosts), Ben (magician, aka thief, and pornographer), Jakey (unemployed and self-depricating), BobbyJoe (Wendy's step-Mom, from the south – go figure), Michael (who ate and drank unabashedly but added nothing), Beth (Bobby's long-legged best friend from the hood and now addicted to OTC drugs), Andy (damaged friend of Wendy's from Spellman {I believe his IQ was roughly equal to the turkey’s – post cooking}), Bill (byofriend of Andy), Henry (wingnut health “enthusiast” and unemployed), Hinky (nice ass) and Bumble (soon to be taxidermy volunteer), Asa & Heidi (from Wyoming, learned about forks quickly), and Chet (me). That's 13 people, for you idiots who can’t count. Wendy and Greg – oh, well. I didn’t plan on keeping my food down anyway.

6:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Anonymous,

Are you trying to compete with Tache? She'll win, you know.

In any case, you seem upset. Can I offer you a tissue?

--Chet

6:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, I came here to yell and scream and celebrate this wonderful news, but Tache scares me, so I am going to keep this really short and hope to slip under her radar. I am actually going to be in Laramie this Christmas, so if you make it in this year, I hope to get to see you. Your news is just incredible. Cathy and I toasted to your good health last night.

--Susanna

2:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great news!
jason

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So happy the cancer is dead. Can Tache be next?

Love you,
C

8:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Woo Hoo
now do i finally get my plate?!

No serious best news i could get for Christmas... but hey i am serious about the plate....

--Henry

7:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just read Anonymous' comments. Amen SPEAK TRUTH TO POWER Brother (or Sister) I love whoever wrote that rant.

But I have to make a correction. This person obviously does not know me...."wingnut health 'enthusiast' and unemployed"

For the record, I take great exception to being described as a health "enthusiast". Nor do I know of a single person who would describe me as such. Hell I had to smuggle sugar cereals in Chet’s apartment when I stayed there & deal with his disdainful smirk as he ate his tofu beacon. Next sadly I must report that I am presently employed, & full time no less. Worse yet, these people actually expect me to work! Indeed! Philistines!

I will concede the wingnut comment. Say whatever you will, I am honest.

7:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So "Anonymous the Rant" isn't Henry? Or is there some funny business going on here?

A curious cat

4:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course, you already know that I am absolutely thrilled with the great news, but wanted to post a comment so everyone knows how I feel, which is wonderfully happy about your good news!!!! I was so surprised when you called me Wed morning as I didn't think you would have the results that quickly, and because of the results! I'm still pinching myself to be sure I'm not dreaming. I know everyone is very happy, just as I am, and I want all of them to know that I am very thankful that they've all been there to support you.
It truly is going to be the best Christmas ever Chet, and I am so excited for you to come home.
Everyone here said they are very happy for you, and you've been on a lot of prayer lists, beleive me.
We will do something very special while you are here, I promise. You take care and be happy! Please give Tache a big hug for me. I love you with everything in me.

Mom

7:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks everyone for your kind comments. Even you, "anonymous."

By the way, anonymous is not Tache. Tache is very disturbed by anonymous, as are a lot of you who have emailed me. Many of you have asked who anonymous is, but I don't know, because anonymous didn't sign his/her name.

Something tells me that anonymous is as happy about the pet scan news as all of us, but he's unable to show his true feelings.

--Chet

6:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous is a semi-literate blathering idiot -- unlike Tache, who is a hyperliterate blathering idiot.

Chet, we couldn't be happier about your news! glad we could celebrate by catting around and napping with you!

love,
Hinky & Bumble, TPTC
(True Pets to Chet)

PS: Tache: Hisses!!

3:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chet:
This is Thelonius and Monk...not Thelonius Monk -- we are two separate cool cats. We're nice cats unlike Tache. And like the other cats on this blog we too are very happy about your good news as you were the one that drove Deirdre All over Chicago when she HAD to get two more cats after Batman and Jellybean died.

Man, she was SUCH a sucker. All we had to do was look at her lovingly (eyes blinking slowly) and extend our paw out of our small, unsanitary cage. And she was like "awwwwwww...blah, blah, blah.

But we are very grateful to you for that day. We don't think Tache would like us though. Well so what. we've got our own gig going on (she should be so lucky)

And hisses to all the cat haters out there -- we're NOT going away. It's too much fun to express ourselves meow :-)

Thelonius and Monk

4:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All of you cat people are whackos. I hope you crazies know that if you were 2 inches tall your beloved cats would devour you and then throw you up on the kitchen floor. Don't confuse their size disadvantage with love. Nutjobs.

6:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, a bug would taste better than a human, even if the human was two inches tall. Gouging their eyeballs out is more our style, which we can do now even given our petite size. Frankly, we prefer not to devour such bad tasting flesh.

However, humans do serve a really useful purpose in terms of providing us with food, water and shelter. Remember nutjob, we're very instrumental beings.

Arlo

7:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think "anonymous" is the Baron on amphetamines.

Either that, or Brett.

-- Or, maybe, Brett's Dad.

--Shatterer

4:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Henry!!

I saw your comment to Chet, and uh...I just want to say if you ever decide you don't want that bowl....I would gladly take it off your hands (or Chet's). I love it and you did such a great job; please please please, say you don't want it and make Chet give it to me! OK, enough about the bowl! On a more serious note...you have been wonderful to Chet, I don't know how you survived!(just kidding Chet), I really appreciate all of your support,and I hope you have the best Holiday Season ever!

Chet's Mom

6:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mom,

Stop brown nosing with Henry. His ego is already big enough.

Love, Chet

11:52 AM  
Anonymous Henry said...

Dear "Mom",

Well it would truly bring me a great deal of joy & honor to actually make you even a better bowl if you let me, especially as i don't know many people who have suffered as much as you (being that you had to deal with Chet all these years!)

Just send me your address to my email address baranczakh@aol.com. Hope to hear from you. (Chet can not be trusted to convery it to me, just make sure you put "Chet's mom in the re: line so i know it's not spam)

As for the rest of you slackers, if you think I am making any of you a bowl, well you can go rub a lamp! Happy Holidays =)

Love,
Henry

7:52 AM  
Anonymous Henry said...

Chet...

Hate the game not the player...

7:54 AM  
Blogger Brett A. said...

Shatterer,

I am flattered (truly) that you would suggest that I am the author of the "anonymous" post. But alas, "anonymous" merely captured what I felt - unfortunately I did not write it. I suppose it's possible that my dad did it, but it's more his style to simply say: "Oh Chet, stop being a paranoid asshole!" Or something like that. In fact, I have my ideas who wrote that epic post - he was a legendary figure from both Chet's and my past, someone who taught us that identity politics will only lead to more Bush-like administrations and that a military draft is just what this country needs to cure what ails it.

Brett

12:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brett,

I was not aware that you knew anything about identity politics, considering you have no identity.

I wish I could share your assessment of the brilliance of anonymous's post. If the author is the person I suspect, I am disappointed. The post lacked clarity. It was rambling, shrill, and as Hinky and Bumble (cats, no less) pointed out, "undergraduate."

I hope our literary friend regains his composure and posts something useful sometime soon.

And until then, I hope you find an identity for yourself so that you can join the rest of us who see something more than an empty vessle when we look in the mirror every morning.

Or you could dazzle all of us with your analysis regarding the relationship between so-called "identity politics" and Bush's victory in Amerika.

--Chet

3:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Henry and Mom--

I'm already sick enough from chemo. I don't need to witness a love fest between the two of you.

Go ahead, Henry, make a bowl for Heidi. A year from now it will be covered in dust and she'll tell her friends she picked it up at the Dollar Store.

--Chet

3:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Chet,

Hey, you bum! There's no way that bowl would be covered in dust, I would use it all the time! And I would never tell anyone I got it at Family Dollar, I never go there! Well...I'm just kidding with you of course, but I do love that bowl; but not as much as I love the flower pot and coffee cup that "you" made for me.

How are you feeling anyway? I hope everything is really good in your world. Looking forward to having you home for Christmas. Give me an e-mail tomorrow at work and if I don't hear from you I'll call you tomorrow night. I love and miss you.

Mom

8:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chet:
Just so you know. Mom has actually cleaned your cup and I don't have a clue where your flower pot is. I grew some grass in a flower pot a while back so maybe that's your flower pot. I just can't remember. While I have you here, Do you know how to catch a polar bear? First thing you do is cut a hole in the ice. Then you put peas around the ice. As soon as the bears comes up to take a pee you kick him in the icehole.
Do you have any idea what days you are going to be at home. I need to schedule my vacation and want to make sure I work on the days you are home. We have done the Grizwald thing here for Christmas just to help you go nuts. Lights and crap everwhere. Damn if Chevy Chase wouldn't be proud of us. We are looking forward to your visit and really want to make it a Wyoming type of Christmas. You know cowboys, indians and for Carla honest to god jackalopes. Carla is going crap when I introduce her to jackalope hunting. She'll have a great time looking for them at 2:00 in the morning.
Enough bs
love you
the old man

8:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've seen the coffee mug, Heidi. That unholy mess is something that only a mother could love. The mug, I mean.

Happy Holidays Heidi and Asa and Henry. And Chet.

Love,
C

8:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Asa:

I still don't believe that jackalopes actually exist. I think they're a made-up animal like unicorns or Bigfoot.

You just want to see me crawling around in the Wyoming night trying to lure a jackalope from a tree or some brush or a hole in the ground just so you can TAKE A PICTURE of me not looking my best (remember last Christmas?).

Nice try.
C

8:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Clara,
Don't let Chet's dad get you nervous about hunting jackalopes. They yodel at night so they're really easy to track.
jason

8:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Carla:
Just so you understand. You don't crawl around looking in bushes or down holes when you hunt jackolopes. Jackolopes are night creatures. They only only way to hunt them is with your car lights. You find a hunting area, park your car, set on your butt and every 15 to 20 minutes you turn your lights on. Make sure you have your lights on bright. Of course for you that's the high beam. Oh and we can't use your SUV as it sets way to high in the air. Remember the VW bug you parked on in Chicago. You thought you had hit a bump. Now back to the hunt. When a jacklope gets in your headlights it is just like a deer it will freeze for a few seconds. All you have to do is jump out and grab that hairy little critter. You have to be extremely careful though as they have sharp hooves and their horns are killers. Once you have your game down all you have to do is tie it up, take a picture of you and your catch. I prefer to turn them loose after a catch but some people tell me jackolope meat is very tasty. I don't want them to become extinct like buffalo, or the famous unicorn. But once you catch your prize its really up to you what you do with it. They have a beautiful yodel they use especially when captured. Hope this helps you to understand my reason for wanting to get you out here and take you hunting. If you want I can get a license for you before you get here. They are not very expensive but law says you have to have one in your possession when hunting.
Now you know the rest of the story.

the old man

7:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a coincidence!

Carla ALSO has sharp hooves.

--Chet

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, Asa, I'll go Jackalope hunting with you as long as we bring plenty of liquor and Chet.

Love,
Carla

P.S. The make of a vehicle is determined by the size of its axle. My vehicle sits on a car axle. Therefore, my vehicle is a car.

4:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beware Dad. Carla wants to get drunk, shoot me, and then drive me home strapped to the top of her..........car.

--Chet

7:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know. I think Carla would rather kill Tache and all the cat bloggers.

Deirdre

10:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chet:
Not to worry. We both know with Carla's hooves she won't be able to run fast enough to catch you. And when she gets drunk she will probably not clean her hooves and will slip on the ice. Carla:
Merry Christmas!!! We love you even with your hooves.
the old man

8:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I need to stand by Southern Friend (Yes i do have them) Carla. She does not have Hooves, but i can attest to the fact that she got some claws, so I would be careful gentlemen!

But in the spirit of speaking truth to power Carla, although your car may be on some sort of car foundation, you need to chuck your gas guzzler in for a hybrid 4 by 4& then I can support your claim about your axis of evil or whatever.

For the record Carla is not the only one who wants to get drunk & shoot you & then tie you to the roof of the truck... Speaking of which where is my plate?

Fondly,
Henry

10:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what plate, Henry?

--Chet

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Frankly, I think that my greatest (along with Carla’s) greatest accomplishment is that nothing less then a great psychological breakthrough. This accomplishment my dear dear friend Chet (AKA “The three faces of Eve”) is that that you have been up until now been able to split your various personalities, though the number of which have yet to be completely calculated. Among them are:

• “Mystified Chet” aka as “’Streetcar’ Chet”: This is a newly identified personality to Chet’s menagerie. It has been brought out recently by new friends who are clearly more then likely women who are under the delusion that Chet is sweet. His outwards appearance is “Are you just sweet so thoughtful, you know I depend upon the kindness of strangers”. But in fact what Chet is really saying is, “I got her conned, dam I am good at this, actually know really she is just a simple prol….”
• Tache: Chet alter ego on this blog. I got a hot flash for all of you out there… this is the real thing kids. This is as close as you get to the real Chet except for perhaps…
• Professor Meeks: you remember the computer guy from SNL. Well this is what happens when he gets an advanced degree and power over individual lives. For instance an industrious student may ask… “Professor Meeks, what did Marks mean when he stated X” and Professor Meeks would respond with a combination of” Well Jane (you insidious ignorant slut) if you even made an attempt to read the 13 chapters I assigned last night, clearly you understand that X…. You ignorant prol.”
• Sadist Chet: the Chet that Carla & Henry get to see most frequently, and sometimes Deirdre. (cruel comments, threats to destroy plate as evidenced by the above comment)
• Masochist Chet also Potemkin Chet: the Chet that Brett, Andy, & Chinka (sp?) get to see most frequently. Chet appears very docile, obedient. Derives a great deal of pleasure for certain comments & appears to dutifully follow all dietary rules laid out to him by others, thereby creating the façade of obedience, but that all it is, just a Potemkin village. Chinka you don’t think he actually does any of the things you tell him to do you?!
• Chet the New Yorker: this is a personality we all get to see. It manifests itself in his rants and complaints on a variety of people and or things and places. For instance, The way the people drive in Oak Park is enough to drive one crazy (Chet has privately admitted how much he loved living in Oak Park, but clearly can’t let anyone know so he will find something to complain about so nobody will think he is happy. Another one is evidence by prior blog of his about his parents visiting, when many of us know he was happier then a pig in shit during their visit.

For all of you seeking the truth, Carla and I are thinking of creating an alternative blog/support groups where those of us can come together and speak truth to power regarding any of the above Chet’s that they may have encountered.

Sincerely ,
The Rebel Alliance aka as Henry

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Henry:
I just read your little comments about my son. If you would like to meet the lord sooner than later keep your shit up. You may think you know my son but I don't like your attitude towards him. I will gladly kick your ass if you want to keep shooting your mouth off. Also, if I can't get the job done I learned a long time ago how to use an equalizer. Get the drift!!
Asa Meeks Sr.

6:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear All:
I think Henry was being sarcastic, not mean.

6:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Chet,
Just wanted to say hi and find out how you're feeling. I was hoping you would feel up to sending me an e-mail today but I know you're probably still feeling under the weather and busy on top of everything else. Hope all is well; if your up to it, post a comment on here or e-mail me tomorrow okay. You know how I worry! I am so excited to see you, can't wait! Weather is supposed to start clearing up in the Denver area tomorrow so hopefully your flight won't be delayed. I don't think your dad understands Henry's "sense of humor"! I've known since last Christmas when we were there how much crap the three of you give each other all the time, but apparently he missed that! Well, just wanted to touch base with you & see how things are going and how you're feeling. Hope to hear from you tomorrow. Carla and Henry, if you're reading this I wish you both a very Merry Christmas & the best of New Year's!
Love,
Mom

9:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sweet Asa:

Don't kill Henry. The last comment was written in jest, no malice intended.

We're sorry. And in the spirit of restitution and Christmas love, Henry and I vow not to post any negative sentiments about Chet until after the holidays. We want to return this blog to its rightful audience, to those who fully understand and treasure its content: the Cat Whisperers.

Feliz Navidad, ya'll.
Much love to Asa and Heidi!

Carla (for Henry and Carla)

9:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Carla and everybody:
It's Feline Navidad -:)

Happy Holidays to all
Deirdre (one of the Cat Whisperers)

9:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay okay, everyone just take a big deep breath. Dad, you cannot kill Henry and, in case I haven't already explained it, he and I always play rough. But I appreciate your protective nature.

And Henry, don't think I won't turn him loose on you.

Happy Holidays everyone.

Chet

12:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Henry:
GOTCHA!!!!!!!
YUKYUKYUK
the old man

4:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So I keep forgetting to bookmark your blog and Cathy keeps having to send it to me again. I finally read your whole profile today and I discovered the most wonderful thing! You like RUFUS!!!! I love Rufus! We have to get together and talk about the wonder that is Rufus. I even got to meet him one time and Cathy was with me, but she really wasn't with me when it counted and so she ended up standing out in the rain for quite a while wondering where I was while I was inside getting to meet Rufus. Cathy doesn't like Rufus all that much so it serves her right. And a couple of weeks ago we were in New York (and yes, Cathy was with me then as well-- what can I say, she just seems to follow me wherever I go) and I made us all go on a pilgrimage to Rufus' apartment building. I think 'pilgrimage' has such a softer, gentler sound to it than 'stalking', don't you?

So, we have to do some major bonding over the whole Rufus thing.

--Susanna

12:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well Susanna, I touched his leg at a concert, and I have an autographed ticket AND poster. Top that!! :-)

He is brilliant. I also recently heard a new CD by his sister, Martha Wainwright, and she's excellent as well. You know that their father was a famous folk singer in the 60s-70s, Loudon Wainwright III.

Yes we do have to have a RW bonding session, for sure. And then we can talk about how Claire's spirit possessed my cat, Tache.

8:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You SO have to come visit me if you are in Laramie. I have this very naughty t-shirt of Rufus that you have to see!

--Susanna

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