Cancer Update

Hello everyone. I'm sorry I haven't written on here for a while, but I was kind of sick of blogging after Houston and wanted to give it a rest for a time.

As many of you know, I haven't been feeling very well lately. I have lost some weight, and my stomach has become very bloated. Humiliating as it is to say, I look like one of those old men with little, tiny pencil legs and a great big stomach. Not attractive. In addition to the bad body-aesthetics, I have had a tremendous amount of abdominal cramping and pain that has been really awful, followed usually by vomiting. All of this has weakened my appetite, which has compounded the weight loss problem. Most days I eat things like soup or just soup broth, although Sidney Walter sent me some chocolates recently that I can't seem to resist.

Well, Monday I had a CT Scan. It was time for one and they wanted to do it in order to try to figure out what the cramps and bloating were all about. The scan shows that the cancer has not really "grown" but that it is definitely active, producing a lot of fluid in my abdomen (hence the bloating), and "thickening" my small and large intestines (hence the cramping, vomiting, and weight loss).

So, yesterday, after meeting with my onco, I went directly back on Oxalaplatin. Many of you will remember that this was the first chemo drug I was on. The doctor believes that my cancer has become "resistant" to 5-FU (also Xeloda), which requires that I step up to something stronger and a bit more aggressive.

So I feel fine today. Yesterday was exhausting but today feels great. I had a decent breakfast and even feel a little hungry as I write this. Many of you will want to know what you can do. Well, just visualize me with a smaller stomach and a bigger butt. :-)

Love, Chet

General Claims Innocence on Rape Charge

After selling a two-ton bag of feces to Congress this week, General David Petraeus will return to the catastrophe we've created in Iraq, but not before stopping off to defend himself against rape charges in St. George, Utah.

Petraeus, a Mormon polygamist leader, is charged with coercing a 14 year old girl into marrying her 19-year old cousin. Court documents and the girl's testimony claim that Petraeus coerced the girl by convincing her that, if she did not marry her cousin and consummate the marriage sexually, she would not attain spiritual afterlife in the celestial kingdom -- where good Mormons go and become Gods!! Polygamists believe that men have a god given right to marry as many wives as they can, including their sisters, cousins, and grandmothers. They have litters of children with these wives, and pay to feed them with welfare checks that come from your tax dollars, so that they can claim enough souls to create their own worlds once they become deities in the afterlife. I know: cuckoo.

Polygamists are also very adept at lying before Congress, and selling as shineola the shitty ideas of village idiots from Texas. Just remember that when a polygamist says the word "progress" to you, he really means "cataclysm." And when he tells you that as the Iraqis begin to take care of their own security, we will leave, he really means that we have every intention of colonizing them for the next 200 years, until their oil supply runs out.

Oh, wait a minute! That's Warren Jeffs..............sorry, General.