Satan is Dead -- Welcome to Houston
I arrived in Hell, I mean Houston, today. My apartment won't be ready until 3pm so I came to this coffee/sandwich place called Brasil, opened my laptop, and learned that Beelzebub (aka the Lord of the Flies, aka Satan, aka Lucifer, aka Henry Baranczak [oops], aka Jerry Falwell) is DEAD!!!
According to yahoo.com, The Beast was found unresponsive in his office at Liberty "University" this morning at 10:45. Yahoo.com says that he was 73 years old, but I think we all know he's quite a bit older than that.
I guess the work of the Dark Side will now have to be carried out by Dick Cheney and Pope Ratzinger, but it's hard to imagine how they'll carry on without Master.
It's an interesting question isn't it -- when the Devil dies, does he go to Hell? I would imagine so. I wonder what he's doing right now? If there's any justice in the universe, it involves Ronald Reagan, a Teletubby, and a LOT of rectal pain.
Seems like a good omen to me. I arrive in Houston for radical surgery on the same day that the Lord smites Belial. Miracles CAN happen, people. If Pat Robertson or Karl Rove suddenly drops dead, I might even start to feel optimistic about things.